Maybe I could try this.

Summary for people too lazy to click the link (or, perhaps, the target market of the invention):

If you think keeping fit is merely mind over matter, Lester Clancy has an invention for you - a cordless jump-rope. That's right, a jump-rope minus the rope. All that's left is two handles, so you jump over the pretend rope. ... What makes this invention work is the moving weights inside the handles. They simulate the feel of a rope moving, Clancy said. Well, it's only one handle so far because Clancy is waiting for financial backers before building its partner.

Important details:

• This has actually been patented by the inventor.


• The inventor is a clever salesman: "It is also good for mental institutions and prisons where rope is a suicide risk, said Clancy, who works as a laundry coordinator in a state prison. And low ceiling fans aren't a hazard any more, he said."


• He only made half of the invention, and we're talking about a jump rope that doesn't have the rope in it!

Best quote from the article: "the more he thought about it, the more Ernst said he could see the benefit, adding that the act of jumping, not the rope itself, is what provides exercise. ... 'But I wouldn't buy the product, I can tell you that. I'm not an idiot.'" (yes, emphasis added).