Noah in 2006

In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.
"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it. Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go! When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space. Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work. The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

I don't know much about the military, so I didn't realize that aircraft flares normally spread out when they're dropped. I did realize that missiles usually shoot in front of the plane.

But I never would have caught this one.

When one of the most trusted news agencies in the world confuses dropping flares with missiles (never mind the fact that two of the flares are Photoshopped in), or accepts that a missile came out of a weapon system that simply can't fire it, you have to wonder what else they're missing. And how much of that do they not even realize they're missing because they've "gotten used to having the ... brass tell folks they shouldn't talk to" clueless reporters (Rant 2 in the list).

It's a good thing we have military blogs to get the scoop out.

For all the flak Google got for dealing with China (since Google's corporate motto is "don't be evil" and China's motto is apparently "be evil"), I wonder if Google Earth can redeem them.

Joe Lieberman lost his primary, and filed to run as an Independant. Not long ago, Pennsylvania conservatives kicked out 12 state incumbants during their primaries. Losing a primary is almost unheard of, so there's apparently a message here.

My opinion of the matter is simple. To a good portion of the Democratic Party, supporting the war in Iraq is a deal breaker. And to a good portion of the Republican Party, failure to keep an eye on spending is a deal breaker. I'll leave it up to you to decide which deal breaker matters more to you.

I'm surprised that Raul Castro apparently hasn't been seen ever since Fidel temporarily handed power over to him. I don't believe the more wild speculation, however. I'll bet that Fidel is worried that the people might like Raul more than him, so unless Fidel dies, Raul is to stay indoors and not talk to anyone.

Israel's war against Hezbollah continues to be interesting. Lebanon has offered to put 15,000 of its own troops on the southern border so that Israel can go home, but refuses to do so until Israel actually does go home. Israel has agreed to go home once those troops actually show up to continue fighting against Hezbollah.

So we're down to brass tacks. Both sides are in agreement that 15,000 Lebanese troops will take responsibility for Southern Lebanon and for rooting out Hezbollah terrorists. The only question is whether they show up while Israeli troops are in the area, or after.

Israel's driving a hard line on this one because Lebanon hasn't been very enthusiastic about fighting Hezbollah ("Saniora has my sympathy, but he still sounds like a victim of the Stockholm Syndrome. His solution today reverts back to the 'give them what they want and then they'll go away' strategy").

With Lebanon demanding Israel withdraw before it started fighting Hezbollah, Israel is sending troops twice as far into Southern Lebanon. I don't think that's a coincidence. I believe it's a message from Israel that they'll go home on their terms, and Lebanon can accept those terms or continue to be beseiged.

I held off on posting today because I like Paige's most recent ones, and I didn't want to push them down just yet. However, I really can't hold on to this gem.

Reuters recently had to pull a photo about the Israel-Lebanon conflict because evidence was pretty clear that it had been doctored. The real gem is that this particular photographer had a pretty bad track record of either being duped or actively using Reuters to spread lies.

To be clear, although this appears to have been the same photographer for Qana, I do believe innocent people died in Qana, and I believe that is a tragedy. I also believe that "rescue workers" took the photo opportunity to parade the dead bodies around for several hours (apparently taking as long as 90 minutes to walk a few yards to the ambulance, and then doing it over again with the same dead body -- and that's not all she wrote). I was relieved when the death toll was halved, from 60 dead to 29. That's still 29 tragedies, but better than 60.